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The Short Service Officer (An ode)

Long time ago on a Saturday morning,
I pinned on my shoulders,
the stars shining,
I wore the lanyard of tradition,
the beret of duty,
without any inhibitions.

I knew no rights or wrongs,
just fulfilled a dream I longed.
I had no biases to colour me ,
Only the tricolours fluttering along.

10 yrs, 20, 30 ?? What do you choose? , they asked.
I said, “Why count years? Is loving your mother land a task?”
“See your responsibilities then you decide,”.
I choose my flag always, there’s no need to hide.

They said, Oh, so you must have been a rebel,
to leave at ten?
Yes, no one stops me from serving my nation.
Said some , What’s outside? Money and breaking rules?
Said others,”Oh, your CV is plain, what was your pay level?
I laughed, “Don’t stress my friend , You will not get it,
My experiences lie on silent mountains , I don’t wear these medals as a jewel.”
-Major Nithi CJ

Blurred Thoughts…

Dakini Cafe, Siliguri

as I sip into my memories,

I find the warmth

of a love lore,

the froth of

an unsettled score.

the bitterness

of a broken heart,

the sweetness

of two apart.

a dip into

few laughters,

the crunch

of a law stickler.

the whiff

of a trembling hand,

the melted droplets

on an aged glass.

the tang

of a new marriage

the pungent

fights of souls afar.

And blurred in this concoction

are my thoughts.

where should I end,

what did I start.

Stargazer and Poetess

Beyond the olive green world,

Were two souls unspoken about,

unheard.

Yearning to live a life of eternal bliss,

One a stargazer ,

the other a poetess.

Many nights at many roads,

Their interests met at the crossroads.

Drawing the souls

for eternal togetherness,

The Stargazer and the Poetess.

Seasons changed

and so did the constellations,

Only to find them drowned in each other’s admirations,

Little did they knew

about the subtle conspiracies of the Universe,

The Stargazer and the Poetess.

With moments

sometimes of insane laughter

and sometimes melancholy,

Slowly his description of the Galaxy became her poetry

And her words invigorating his starry vigil,

Only to untwine the strings of worldliness ,

And bond them in the threads so nuptial ,

The Stargazer and the Poetess.

The Circle of Fire

She twirled and twisted

wrenching in the urge

to find her way

through this wilderness

the sweat and blood

not did once dissolve

the fire…

the fire kept simmering

until, until it burned

every tissue, every skin

of her layered self

until, until it flamed

every dream of hers

in her eyes, vividly..

she thought to herself

as she woke up from one

(the dream)

yes this is it…

this is my beloved

desire ..

until, until it flamed

a realisation

to her ,

that her purpose

is to burn

and be the light

of life

till eternity….

– Nithi C J

The Enso

Just Randomly

a stroll in the dust cladded pathway 

a look into the empty driveway 

my fingers wipe 

an unseen tear 

a known finger tugs you near

just randomly…

and just randomly 

I pick that book 

flipping into its leaves

I looked hooked..

the bell rings 

I rush to the door

opening my self to the cold wind 

just randomly…

and just randomly 

I ink my nib 

An extra fine sometimes 

sometimes a stub

I switch between them

as if that will make my words better 

and scribble on the sheet randomly 

and just randomly I drop my hi

leaving not much space for a why

I ask my beloved 

hope you had a good meal

and some questions randomly 

with randomness 

I sometimes express my soul 

only to make the experience of life

more precious 

leaving the others bewildered 

I just gift them a smile 

just randomly….

Daisies- The heart of a Soldier

“They symbolise innocence, purity , and positivity.” – Web

The world outside his or her olive greens is overwhelming for the soldier whether he or she walks into the world either as a mortal or simply as a bodiless soul. The world looks so new, like a new leaf.

When I stepped out of the boots , I felt I was in some time machine. Everyone was so in their hustle , and me scuttling to catch up with them in vain. CoVID came as a rescue (yes seriously!).

When I was making attempts to hold the sand in my hand, the world had to come to a standstill. This might sound so selfish but it was not just my wish but heart of heart of every soul on this planet. Everything was fast, and that made it senseless, just like a fast driven car repelling all the breeze that could have been felt by you, but the speed fades away your senses… or May be like a bottle of spirit that distances you from yours…You forget to feel.

The numbness of ourselves was the most dangerous thing that had happened to the mankind because of the gadgets. We preferred touching screens then souls..

But lockdown came as a blessing in disguise (though the most horrific one, almost a lesson learnt in the hardest possible way). We realised (at-least few of us) that the gadgets can’t appease you for long. You need people !! Real people! And this was something we Soldiers are good at handling ,people vis-a-vis Facebook pages.

When you speak it’s not just words , it’s your eyes that talk.. and when that’s not happening, the conversation is just another boring chat. The satiation comes only when the soulful self of two people connect and this depends on the depth of your eyes and your thoughts. Just like the purity of the daisies.

Our uniform takes through numerous moments of life and death few mortal and few mental. And in these moments we learn to touch people with utmost purity , innocence and optimism so that all that the other person receives is humaneness in its purest state. Soldiers connect not to be forgotten but at some point of life be remembered as a beautiful flower that brought smiles!

Resonate with what you relate to…

When was the last you walked to the top of hill and screamed in the valley that lay below, only to find your voice as an echo?

Resonance is a very interesting phenomenon… if you read the concept you would realise. It’s more than just sound…

“It is defined as the reinforcement or prolongation of sound by reflection from a surface or by the synchronous vibration of a neighbouring object.”

– Definition from the Internet

The interesting part is the synchronised vibration with the neighbouring object is not possible until both commensurate with each other..

In the world of virtual bonding , and the increasing desire for approval, we are somehow losing on connecting with people whom we relate to. Likes, dislikes in the virtual world may give momentary happiness but what about eternal solace?

“The one who socialises mindlessly , is the most lonely person.”

-Nithi CJ

With socialising becoming a trend more on our devices, we have forgotten to connect with anyone on an aim beyond few drinks and few bites. In just few minutes of any gathering, we see the dissipation of focus into individual handsets. What about the conversations and the connections you desire to create with the like minded?

It is important to select your company in such a manner… and express only to them who understand and relate; and are sensitive to your thoughts. Casual hangouts can only ‘hang’ you ‘out’ momentarily from your actual self, but the question is how long can you keep hanging?

Won’t it be better if you could resonate with someone whom you relate?

The Language that killed an Emperor

The duals fought in historical courts between poets is a tradition still revered as one of the most intellectual and literary traditions. Not just poets, musicians, educators, all strived to make a mark on the mind donned by the royal throne.

The commonality between the above historical artists is the language. Language has been the showcase for religions, regions , mindsets and different realms. Today let’s look into one such realm.

In the book titled,” Adrishya” on the greatest spies of Indian history, the mention of Bardai opens up uniquely different dimension of spy craft. Most unassuming individuals hidden with most unassuming skills often make it to this strata of warfare. And when you read about Bardai, this is more evident.

The chapter speaks of the extraordinary skills of Bardai in spy craft, but most historically significant was the use of Brij Bhasha as a secure means of communication. As we commemorate Hindi Diwas today it’s imperative to know little more about this language.

As per Britannica ,” Braj Bhasha language, also spelled Braj Bhasa, Braj Bhakha, or Brij Bhasa, language descended from Shauraseni Prakrit and commonly viewed as a western dialect of Hindi. It is spoken by some 575,000 people, primarily in India. Its purest forms are spoken in the cities of Mathura, Agra, Etah, and Aligarh.”

Who knew this dialect would carve a great part of India’s Historic Journey? So back to Bardai. Bardai had the poetic skills which made his communications with Prithviraj Chauhan more worthy to etched into a book. And none other than Chand Bardai himself wrote the epic ,” Prithviraj Raso” in Brij Bhasa.

“In the world of intelligence-gathering, jargon acts as a much needed veil of secrecy. “-Web

Brij was that veil to the association of Bardai and Prithviraj especially while executing tactical activities. When Prithviraj was imprisoned by Mohammad Ghori , Chand Bardai strategised a plan to help Prithviraj kill his enemy as escape wasn’t possible. Bardai spread this rumour that Prithviraj can aim by hearing and the sold this to Ghori , who blindly believed Bardai as by then Bardai had established his influence on Ghori. An Archery competition was organised where Bardai played this ace of spades about Prithviraj’s skill. Ghori’s curiosity about his enemy coerced him to witness this skill. And that’s when Bardai recited,

“चार बांस चौबीस गज अंगुल अष्ट प्रमाण ता ऊपर सुल्तान है मत चूके चौहान !”

-Prithiviraj Raso by Chand Bardai

The same verse and the event has been narrated in this excerpt from the Book ‘Adrishya’.

Excerpt of the Chapter on Chand Bardai from the book ‘Adrishya’

This excerpt clearly brings out that how Brij was used as a secret language akin to signal codes of the modern era. The explanation of the enemy’s location in Brij gave Prithviraj the exact clarity which he needed to aim at Ghori. This brings out the need to have a very in depth understanding of the language.

This historical account of Chand Bardai and Prithviraj Chauhan is only one drop as a witness to the advancement and vision already seen by the ancient India in terms of how evolution of language can exceed beyond the spheres of mundane human communication to significant military craftsmanship!

The Symbolism-Paradox of Womanhood

Flash back to “Kuchh kuchh hota hai”, Kajol who was a tomboy in college , walks in wearing a saree and makes Shahrukh fall for her. Suddenly, “he feels that he is in love”. It’s nothing but idiotic infatuation glorified. We all suffer from this OCD even when it comes to our personalities. We get into defining people … she’s a tomboy, yaar she’s so girly… oh god isn’t she too bold ??? And the list never ends.

Then comes in symbolism. It can be seen being sympathised for ‘short hair’ to “Oh Nithi, you’re in the Army ? But u don’t look like ?”

This is a never ending psychological controversy. The main reason for this is our emotionally exaggerating selves.

Isn’t it possible for a soldier to where a cocktail dress and yet maintain her professional demeanour? She very well can! (Disclaimer: please don’t drag the uniform this !!! Because the sanctity of the uniform should not be experimented with..) So what if she wants to feel solemn by wearing a saree for an occasion? You will then see sarcasm knocking there.

At the same time there are people who are over concerned about “oh my god how do you wear those heavy boots?!! Poor girl!!”

We reach nowhere in this! Actually!!

Interesting is what we are left with as identities especially women? Either one who’s portraying to be a non conformist by ‘equating’ men through their appearances or one who portrays as an idealist by being conventional and socially acceptable.

I am reminded of Sadhguru’s quote that the believer and the non believer are on the same side… they both believe in something. Beliefs make us shallow , rather, we must endeavour for experience!! Want to sport a western dress do it !! Want to be ethnic the next day, do it!!! Let the superficialities of our attires don’t affect your identities, let them be cherished only as recreation for oneself, just to feel good , feel happy for yourself, cherish culture , not for portraying it to people!!

I hope this made sense to you!!! Simply enjoy what you want to be today !!!

No More in the Night Shine

I no more gaze into the glitter of the darkness..

I no more silence myself in the cosmetic laughs..

Yes I still relish few musical notes

with my intoxication..

But I no more ache myself into a drunken farce..

I be with people who are my own..

I no more smile at faces unknown..

I no more cloak my true self..

For ticking my social presence..

I have shredded that skin..

That skin we wear before we step out of our homes..

To mingle in the glitter and glamour..

To be accepted,

acknowledged

and ‘adored’..

And satiate ourselves

with temporary happiness..

I am happy..

I no more have to do that..

My space looks akin to solitude ..

But we are never alone!!

What about your soul ?

Which accompanies you..

In sadness and galore..

Tonight I sit peacefully

with a soul bonded to mine..

His calm presence comforts

more than wine..

Many a ‘-demics’

will come and go

Nothing can kill the joy..

Cherish it till you breathe..

Because you are the hero,

in this ploy!!

– Nithi CJ